Selling a Home During a Divorce
A sale two people have to agree on, handled evenly, with both sides told the same thing at the same time.
How I Handle It
Two people have to agree on every decision, and agree is a much easier word to write than it is to do. When something needs to go through your attorneys, I will coordinate with them and work to whatever gets decided, rather than pressing either of you to settle something faster than you are able to.
Your home gets the same campaign as any other listing. The same marketing, the same push, the same work to make buyers want it. Selling it quietly or half-heartedly would cost you money, and you are already paying enough.
What I will not do is behave as though this is an exciting time for you. Those are two different things, and agents get them confused.
Neutral, and the same information to both of you. Every update, every piece of feedback and every offer goes to both parties at the same time. I am not a go-between carrying messages, and I am not on one side.
I care what each of you thinks about it, and I will ask. You both get the same information, the same honesty and the same weight. Communication stays open in both directions, and when there is a dispute or a frustration, we deal with it rather than working around it.
Disclosure done properly. The obligations on a seller are the same as in any other sale, including the standing duty to update the disclosure in writing if something changes. That does not relax because the circumstances are hard.
I work to whatever your attorneys have agreed. I do not give legal advice and I will not guess at what a court has ordered.
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What the House Actually Is
A house you took care of, raised children in, chose the paint for. That does not stop being yours because of what is happening now. Even when the memories in it were not all good ones, it was still home, and letting go of it is one of the harder parts of this.
Some people find they cannot leave during a showing. Some find themselves making it difficult without quite meaning to. That is not awkward behavior. It is grief, and it is normal. I would rather plan around it than have you feel badly about it.
It is also not always the primary home. Sometimes it is a second place, a vacation property, or a business the two of you built together, often built during a time that looked nothing like now. Those carry their own weight, and sometimes more of it.
None of that is a reason to handle the sale less seriously. It is the reason to handle the people in it more carefully.
In their words
What working with me is like
Going with Tamara as our realtor was a fantastic decision! She is honest, calm, professional, and a fantastic listener. I would most definitely recommend her to anyone!
Tamera was the best ever! Give that woman a raise!
One Set of Facts, Given to Both of You
The thing that makes a sale like this difficult is rarely the house. It is two people making one decision while hearing different versions of the same information.
Your attorneys and I are where that information actually lives, and it trickles down from there. So I give both of you the same facts at the same time, in writing. What the house is worth and what that rests on, what the market is doing, what each option would realistically mean. Not a version each.
That is not a stance on anything between you. It is simply that a decision made from one honest picture holds, and a decision made from two half-pictures gets reopened. One of you may arrive with an expectation that is not realistic and the other with one that is, and that usually has more to do with who has been told what than with either of you being unreasonable.
Where something is genuinely a legal question I will say so and send it to your attorneys rather than offer an opinion. What I can do is make sure neither of you is working from information the other one does not have.
Both Signatures, and a Clock Running
A sale needs both of you at more points than most people expect. Offers, counters, addenda, disclosures, inspection responses and the closing paperwork, and most of them arrive with a deadline attached.
When communication between you is strained, or going through attorneys, a document that needs two signatures in forty-eight hours stops being a formality.
So it gets run as a system. You both know in advance what will need signing, how it reaches you, and roughly when. Nothing arrives as a surprise demand, and neither of you has to chase the other to keep a deadline. That is usually what keeps a sale like this from falling apart over something procedural rather than something real.
The Practical Questions
The ones worth settling before listing, because they cause the trouble later: who is authorized to accept an offer, how a decision gets made if you disagree, who is living in the house and how showings work around that, who pays for repairs or preparation, and how proceeds are handled at closing.
Most of those are questions for your attorneys rather than for me. What I can do is make sure they are asked early rather than discovered in the middle of a negotiation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Can you represent both of us?
The listing is of a jointly owned property, so I work for the sale rather than for one of you. Every update, every offer and every piece of feedback goes to both parties at the same time. Whether that arrangement suits your circumstances is a question for your attorneys, and I will work within whatever they have agreed.
What if we cannot agree on price?
That gets decided before listing, not during. Usually it is settled between the attorneys or by whatever the court has directed. What I can give you both is the same honest opinion of value and the same reasoning, so the disagreement is at least about a shared set of facts.
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